One size fits all? - Part @

So there I was... Part !

And here I am...

We have gone over a few sour ones well enough to program our minds that if something seems like seeming wrong... run [whatever your name is] run

There are the majority few who do not play by the rules and prefer not using carry-overs from their previous relationships. This is because they believe in starting with a clean slate every time.

Of course, the new version of the slate is the same as the previous one. But still, there seems to be some pleasure in erasing and filling up the slate again.

But why waste space over people who do not go by the rules?

Back to the normals.

We generally come to a resigned state where we start searching for some new gender to mix some things up. Please note that we do not avoid them totally. Acquaintances, contacts, friends of friends and many more passers-by are not treated bad at all. Just that the internal computer boots up every time you come across one of them and starts flashing various warnings all around as each levels of limits are reached.

Ironically, a few of them prefer ones who let them enjoy their space without prying/annoying/disturbing/invading/attacking too much, though they may not always return the favor.

And even then, among this whole maze, we do find someone who we feel is a little more closer to us and we too like them.

This relationship also passes smoothly. Nothing much eventful... It is the upward phase, remember? Then as always... a small drop falls... but hey, it's just a drop. However, reactions vary from being drowned in a drizzle to being struck by lightening.

It's time for the Post-incident-analysis now. Remember, you are supposed to ask every possible question you can (related to the incident though).

Unfortunately this time, most answers are quite good. They seem to be genuine. No open ends anywhere. Well, not 100% fool-proof, but these answers give you more reasons to be optimistic than pessimistic.

And then it strikes you hard. Real hard, mind you. And the thought of what you are going to think pains you. A wry smile is all you can manage.

Even though, you are sad of having made a mistake after quite some time (poor ego, by the way), you still manage to smile at the end because you found a person worthy of a good relationship.

You desperately hope to patch things up while a new thought occurs to you. "What if they mistake me now and get funny thoughts in their head". The answer follows. "Yes, I made a mistake. But if they ask, I am ready to explain". Before that, you take the first step in patching.

All's well that ends well. Some rules become relaxed. But again, not too easy though. We don't want ! striking again.

One size does not fit all. And that keeps you guessing. So, which one actually suits you?

Previous experiences help you narrow down to a small number. From then on, try each one... simple (not really).

[Dedicated to a friend whom I mistook for a few small reasons (It didn't seem too small in my opinion then though). I thought I had a fine series of reasons. But truth beat fiction out. Sorry dear, but don't we all make mistakes... isn't that how we learn? Happy that we grew stronger through it. Like you a lot. Maybe, that's why.]

==Ends here as of now==

One size fits all? - Part !

Remember your early relationships? Must have been somewhere in your early teens depending on where you were from and related situations.

Anyway, at first the whole idea of talking/walking around with a member of the opposite gender is so good. You spend a lot of time and effort to make it last a lifetime.

Step-1: Details - Yup... you are willing to let them know any detail that they want to know about you. Your whole life is an open encyclopedia so that you can earn the title of honest, open-nature etc. And you too expect them to tell everything about themselves. Once that starts... great...

Step-2: You are free anytime - That itself explains a lot... you have all the time in the world to stay on the phone. Or chat, mail for that matter. Everything else goes to utterly low, ultra-low priority.

Step-3: Dream - Since it is a dream, why not dream big. Set up a chart for 50 years and plot the graphs of how close you would be at each stage.

Step-4: Problem-solving - Forget Maths for a second... maybe more than that. They face a crisis and you want to somehow end up as a savior. Let it be anything that makes them happy temporarily... you score a few points and you are into the next round.

Step-5: Concern - How will they reach home? Do they really have a bad cold, fever, pneumonia? [Thoughts that come to you after a sneeze from them...]. Suddenly, what happens to you does not matter much. Well actually, they are supposed to care about that...

Step-6: Help - Maybe the biggest of all... how willing you are to help them. Well, problem-solving also comes under this. Step-2 also comes under this. The possibilities in which you can help are amazingly large. All questions with 'Can you' and 'I need' are replied with 'What else am I there for...?'

Though it all sounds too one-sided... this happens both ways... and so makes the duo so happy. Don't tell anyone's are shared... treats are sponsored... special gifts are sent/received... those special walks... and do the hours on the phone in serious discussion and thousands of lines of mail need special mention...?

Then one day... it strikes... the upward growth of the graph has hit an unexpected top... Oh no wait... it has slipped down a bit... bringing your mood down with it... Oops... emergency... discussions are held... a phone feels like committing suicide... Mail servers are panicky over 10k lines of 'code'... Result... problem solved... They call it a misunderstanding and life is back to normal.

Upward movement again but a bit slow... You don't worry about it... But things now seem different... You have just gone through another two of those misunderstandings. You need to get something repaired now... Maybe the mails are too short? Or too pointless... Pump in some sentiment, sweet talk, some we were meant to be's... and smile as the graph is upward again with a new 'energy'

More Don't tell anyone's flow in... You've reached somewhere near the top spot in their ranking. And now this is crucial. You are now competing with the big guys. You should not just keep doing the things you do. You need to be different. And you come up with methods to stay on top.

Disasters strike periodically... but you know it is all related to the difficulty of being at the top... Wait a sec... I haven't referred to the graph for quite sometime now... Oops, it is nowhere near its peak... What happened to the topper's list...? I have to ask about that...

Bam bam bam... shouldn't have asked those questions... Graph catapulting but with a new sense of direction... Bad questions... unexpected replies... even worse comments to those replies...

So now what do we do...? The graphs show something like a Bell curve. Time for some analysis?

They call it going back to the drawing board. You put on your thinking caps... Where did it go wrong? Obviously, the point at which the graph turned. Cause - one of those misunderstandings which became a little big...

But, hey... these little disturbances did come before right? A new conclusion - Irrespective of how well a misunderstanding has been understood a part of it is carried off to the next one to increase its effect...

Hey... but the graph seemed to improve after the first of these incidents... Conclusion - A misunderstanding's remnants are carried over only when the next one is released.

Still... the second misunderstanding had been solved reasonably well by both concerned. What made it go down like that? Think well... Did you not feel something went sour in the whole thing? Argument - But it was all complemented by more effort so the effect should have been neutralized... Question - Are you sure they too felt it the same way?

Hmmm... not sure... but sure felt it as the graph was nearing the end of its cycle. The spice or steam of whatever was there has seemed to have worn off... Hey, but doesn't anybody care about these happenings? Didn't they see someone pop off the topper's list?

Updates: Seems they have realized something is wrong. They were also not too happy with all these developments... And so they keep mum...

Now... Now... silence isn't so golden anymore. Need to do something about. Kick-start this whole thing again... Now you know your mistakes... You can make some resolutions like nip it in the bud etc... So all set to restart...

They have also expressed interest in this whole Renaissance idea... So can set forth after one final analytical session

What makes you sure this won't happen again? The graph should never have fallen this low in the first place... It was a fresh relationship and so both would have had the feeling not to let it go? Well... at least you did everything for it... Hmmm... were you the only one...? Could be... two together would never have let this happen...

The idle mind uses up all its resources. The whole graphs path has been covered like 20 times. You discover some possibilities that you need clarification on... But hey, the graph's status advises you not to bring these up and finally extinguish it into negative...

You keep it with yourself... and take THE decision... Yes... time to move on... If they don't care about it as much as you do... you take the pain... but make sure it doesn't stay painful for ever... Good for you...

They are obviously not impressed... Some positive steps are planned to be taken to uplift the graph. Things like these seem to soften you... But in the end, logic prevails...

Finally, you walk out... It is cold... You are waiting for the sunshine... Till then, you would have to taste the cold bite.

You should have thought twice at the first crisis-point. Do cross-examination at every point so that you don't catch the latest discoveries that you got when it is late. With these tips, you can sure do better...

Ya... there are all the same... Don't forget the rules. 'One size fits all'

[To be continued...]