Being a waiter...

Fairly simple mission - you are a waiter.

It's a manageable pizza centre - at the max. you would have just have three customers. The customers are frequent visitors and sit at "their" places only.

So, as already said, you are a waiter. Once the customers come in, you go to them, take their order and pass it on to the cook, who works from a floor above. You then go to the base of the stairs and ask the cook to pass on the pizza to you. And he launches it in air and you collect it correctly and deliver it to your customer, who has it and then leaves.

If you are still wondering why the aerial pizza transfer, it is supposed to be recommended by some management 'experts' who worked out that it saved 2.628 seconds/pizza, which is the time taken by the waiter to climb up the stairs and back. Also, the aerial transfer cooled the fiery hot pizza to eatable levels, which reduced the starting time by customers to munch into the pizza.

So, this is the routine. Forgot to tell you about customer patience. Every customer would wait only for a particular time for their pizzas. Surprisingly, the waiting time for these customers is similar at the same period of time.

Should tell something about the customers - the two guys sit facing the table while the lady sits on her side facing the other seats. If you have any reasons why it is so, please inform.

Once you are so used to leisurely serving these three customers, welcome to a new person - the bartender or whatever you call a person distributing bottles around. Distribution here is again aerial, with bottles flying around to their destinations. You don't want to knocked down by any of the bottles. Customers would be disappointed to see their pizzas demolished.

Soon, you'll get used to the bottles and delivering pizzas on time - the customers also get used to it. They soon expect you to be delivering the pizzas faster, now that you have more experience. It gets more tough as they expect the same from the bottle-tender too.

You can guess now what happens after a length of time. Impatient customers, quick bottle-tender, and the cook who's able to increase the rate of making pizzas at ease.

After the worst is over, the place relaxes a bit and customers are a bit more accommodating. It slowly increases again. Reminds you of the sawtooth wave? :-)

At this pace, it is easy to miss out times - the odd angry customer, the dropped pizza (the flying pizza from the cook), a bottle on the head. You are excused at times, but once it keeps happening three times, you'll have to relinquish the position and the impression that you can handle the pressure of pace.

Don't worry, you can start all over again, right at the start of the leisurely age.

That is summary of one of my favorite little LCD games, played at childhood. Made by Casio, it was very interesting and gripping (back then!).

The name is 'Funny Waiter'.

Pictures - Cover - Handheld

List of other Casio handhelds

:-)

Write something about cricket in 400 words

Cork was an unheard term then. Rubber was too heavy and tennis was premium. So, it was just paper. Mostly, it would be an answer paper. On festival seasons, you got different varieties. Carefully rolled up with proper adjustments, it would end up as a ball. Yes, the early man's, sorry, child's, cricket ball.

It was the perfect opponent for the meat-faced bat - the exam pad. The sheer simplicity, affordability, durability made it the ICC (International Children's Cricket) standard till Std V. And then the rubber balls took over.

For generations, cricket experts have debated on the pros and cons of the rubber ball compared to the tennis ball. People rating body above money always went for the tennis ball as it would hit them softer. These instruments, were playable on almost any surface, including potholes-filled road on rainy days. However, it could inflict sizeable damage around, which included, the neighbourhood old man's three glass windows on the first floor or his bald head, whichever came nearer.

No ball was complete without accessories, at least not the balls played in the ultra-competitive nature of children's cricket. The base was always the handy insulation tape - its multi-coloured availability helped in the design aspect. In addition to that, there was always a unique style of placing these tapes on the ball by each ball designer, that would help in its identification among 100 other similar balls in the nearby drainage. Stickers, marker text would complete the design aspect, after which it would move for testing, which involved throwing/spinning it hard on various surfaces as the team of ball-analysis scientists listened painfully for any S-O-S calls from within.

Longevity of balls generally depended upon financial well-being of the players - when money was tough to come by, the ball would be retrieved even if it went to visit Bermuda's triangle. However, when the pocket money increased, a ball could easily escape, being hidden in one of the players' pockets.

Days have changed now. People now wear clothes contrasting with the ball's colour. They stuff cardboards all around their head, arms, legs and places which they consider vital. They play only on grass and need shoes to walk over it. They play only with well-shaped bats and well-shaped balls. They need huge lands too. Does the fun remain the same? Seems fun on TV. But, I play better with the exam pad.

HP what?

Two people 'communicating' at work:

Anderson: Got HP?
Patterson: You mean Hewlett-Packard Pavilion notebooks (laptops)?

Anderson: No, the book I mean. Do you or any of your friends have it?
Patterson: Oh yea, got it. You mean that children's book - Happy Potter. My room-mate was reading it last night. He also keeps his little toy-truck and LEGO blocks along while reading it.

Anderson: Grrr. Has he completed reading it?
Patterson: No, I don't think so. He just has got to half the book. In his class, they have only taught him till the letter 'P' and so he is waiting for the remaining to be taught for him to complete it.

Anderson: Grrrrrr. Can you get me the book after he's done?
Patterson: Ya, okay. But which book do you mean?
"Harry Potter and the three blind mice"
"Harry Potter goes shopping"
"Harry Potter with his grandchildren - special old-age edition"
"Harry Potter in the World War"
"Harry Potter's guide to Plasma TVs"
"Harry Potter missing"
"Harry Potter meets Patterson"

Anderson: Gr^9. I meant "Harry Potter kills Patterson"
Patterson: Wow, lend me that book. Would like to know about the ending.

Anderson: Pleeeese.
Patterson: Hmmmph. Will ask him and let you know. (Pause) Got it.

Anderson: Ok, keep it with you. Will let you know when I need it.
Patterson: Fine...

Anderson: Thanks a lot^12.
Patterson: :-)

[The End]
.
.
.
[...temporarily]

A little more time?

"Half-an-hour more", you are told.

You walk in.

Half-an hour for this wonderful person to leave the world we mortals live in. Half-an-hour is all you've got with them and express whatever you have to, if you have to.

What are you supposed to say? Do you have to?

Say the moments when their presence really mattered to you? That would be a lot.

Wish them good? When you both know it would not be the case.

Talk about the future? Which would be in their absence.

Ask about their expectations from you? To make them even more worried.

Just look calmly? And let them read every expression on your face?

Keep looking at your watch? It would keep coming nearer anyway.

Maybe, these are all possible in an ideal world. When you could control everything. Then again, you wouldn't have needed this count-down at all. Maybe, maybe...

But still, don't you wish you had that option?

Up and dunk...

= Fiction =
13 has usually been a nice number for me. Or at least I'd like to think so. Even though I have been born on a 13th, the more I think of it, I get a long list of '13 achievements'.

So it was natural that I was quite energetic last 13th, the day we had the basketball match. This is something that takes place twice a year or so. The audience is low and the result is usually one-sided, but you wouldn't think so on seeing the way we practiced this year around.

I was ready soon and went for the morning drill, two hours before the first whistle sounded. We discussed some strategy or whatever. What can you do anyway with a team of guys who are each a feet taller than you?

Thankfully, the remaining 9 in the team were not as tall as me.

I went the players' bench a few minutes before the others came. I knew that I would have to sit in this bench the whole time as I would only be allowed in for the last 5 min and that too only if the match had no signs of turning around.

The match started on time with our starting 5 as usual. The few people who had come in had come to admire another classical performance from the opponents. It was not their fault. Even I sat admiring them.

The match was going on smoothly as that is how I describe a steadily increasing gap between the teams. A quarter came to an end and we were like 15 points adrift. A few changes later, the next quarter was on.

I totally lost focus on our team but was admiring the flow of the play of the other team. Maybe more than admiring. I was forming a pattern in their play. As the quarter came to its ending, I felt like that ideal chess player who could predict his opponent's move and out-think him.

The mood at half-time was not too good. Quite understandable, considering that a gap of nearly 40 points had crept in. Three of the players were not willing to play. It didn't bother me much as I knew I would get a chance only if 5 of them walked out. The next three were put into play and they walked in. One of the main players then walked back just before the whistle saying he was panting too much and he can come in at a time-out.

I heard my name being called which pushed me back into the real world. I was still visualizing the other team's game in my head then. I looked around and could see that the guy before me had gone off, either to fetch water/snacks or be in privacy in one of the rooms meant for that.

I quickly got on the team's vest and came to the center. None of the players were willing to take center-stage obviously fearing the 7/8 foot tall player who were there on the other side. I know it was an exaggeration, but anything over 6 feet looks the same from the eyes of a 5-footer.

The referee at the center said 'Ready' and then motioned me to come closer. I looked back shocked to see all the others in my team were slightly farther away from the 'center of action' than me. I smiled seeing the audiences react wildly to this 'perfectly-matched' pair. I could see a few cameras come out. Oh what a photographic moment this would be! I put on a range of smiles, sure that none of them would match.

The ball went up and as the sky-tall player hopped to reach it, I went behind him to receive the ball he pushed behind. Getting this cheeky possession, I weaved through them to get my first 2 of the match. What a moment!

It was our turn to defend now. They got past quite easily which was no surprise. We then had some trouble scoring with our high passes all getting in the wrong hands. Two minutes later, we got over that problem too. I was close to the basket once with the 7-footer blocking me. There was no way I could get the ball. A team-mate saw me crouched under and gave a low pass. My 'friend in the other team' was a little late in catching up with me and it resulted in another 2.

The game became more fun now. We were playing equal to them now. They scored their shots and we scored what we wanted. The quarter seemed equal. But we had still the catching up to do.

At the first time-out, I thought about what I observed in the last quarter. However, things are different when you are actually in the middle playing. You don't get all that time to analyze like when you're sitting outside. Also, you get an entire view sitting on the side which is not got when you are actually on the ground.

One of us mentioned how we could accelerate our scoring by moving around in a pattern even without the ball so that ball could be passed to any available player. For defense, we were not marking a single person as before but moving on from one player to another as another player took care of our previous target.

What a difference that made. We were able to curb their scoring to a large extend now. I could see that the gap came to under 30 now. My pace across the ground improved now. I was in charge of transporting the ball from one end to another and then passing it to the available player to make the 2. I managed to outrun them by not running in a straight line. I felt I was back in Class-5 where we had this catcher game named 'chain-chain'.

The quarter got over with most of the players quite tired. I stayed on in court for sometime attempting to shoot that ball through that basket miles above my head. Both teams talked a lot this time and came back to the ground for the final quarter. I was allowed to play the whole of the next quarter which was something for me as I never even expected me to be playing the whole of the quarter gone by.

The game seemed more defense-oriented this time as our opponents understand that if they allowed us to score, it would reduce the gap even more. I was the most hit as I could not find someone to pass too as both the players were floating around now.

After a few ineffective passes and thereby making them score, the idea came in. It was too daring to think of that because I had not never done that regularly even in practice. But I had to take a chance as the other options seemed blocked.

And so, the next time I got the ball, I ran past the half-line and stopped. A few feet away, I had 9 players looking at me. I took a look at them and one look above, at the basket far away and fired the ball upwards. The ball went up and curved downwards on its way to the basket. It hit the net making a sweet sound and I had just scored my first 3 ever in a match. The feeling is unexplainable. Though the audience gave their best volume to cheer the little boy scoring a 3 above 9 players, it could not come close to what I just felt.

A little success and you keep wanting it more. Well, that is how I can explain the two more 3s that followed up. The defense's thinking changed now. They were coming after me now. I had to reluctantly pass it to the nearest available player. The team was not satisfied with this as the other team was equalizing it.

One player came to me and told me to stay around the 3-pointer while he would somehow pass the ball that I pass to him back to him. Well, the others started doing the same. For the first time in this match I started feeling important rather than just a filler. The enthusiasm grew even more after the four consecutive 3s I got in.

One look at the score had me back to reality. We had overtaken the other team's score but it was not a good margin. I managed not to keep the ball idle so that at least someone could take a 2 if I was blocked from taking a 3.

I had not glanced at the audience for sometime now, just listening to the noises. When I went to the sidelines for water, I noticed the area full with people. Someone passed the word perhaps. Three more 3s later added with a couple of 2s right at the end with some crucial errors from the other team out of frustration allowed us a comfortable 20-point win.

Seems I was the top-scorer and the audience seemed to be very excited in seeing a little boy take on some big (and tall) fellows. Some random thoughts regarding the underdogs and support came to me. I was enjoying every moment of this.

My best moment of the day was definitely not the near-dozen 3s scored. It was just seconds before the final whistle when I was given the ball. I was supposed to try for a 3, but seeing their defense position, I just went through their maze finally utilizing what I knew about their movement. In line for a straight 2, I took the jump and tried getting as high as I could to the end and tossed the ball upwards and watched it go up and down through the net. It was my version of the dunk and I just could not get it out of my mind amidst the congratulations received.

An accomplishment to my name finally... maybe they should this dunk after my name...

One size fits all? - Part @

So there I was... Part !

And here I am...

We have gone over a few sour ones well enough to program our minds that if something seems like seeming wrong... run [whatever your name is] run

There are the majority few who do not play by the rules and prefer not using carry-overs from their previous relationships. This is because they believe in starting with a clean slate every time.

Of course, the new version of the slate is the same as the previous one. But still, there seems to be some pleasure in erasing and filling up the slate again.

But why waste space over people who do not go by the rules?

Back to the normals.

We generally come to a resigned state where we start searching for some new gender to mix some things up. Please note that we do not avoid them totally. Acquaintances, contacts, friends of friends and many more passers-by are not treated bad at all. Just that the internal computer boots up every time you come across one of them and starts flashing various warnings all around as each levels of limits are reached.

Ironically, a few of them prefer ones who let them enjoy their space without prying/annoying/disturbing/invading/attacking too much, though they may not always return the favor.

And even then, among this whole maze, we do find someone who we feel is a little more closer to us and we too like them.

This relationship also passes smoothly. Nothing much eventful... It is the upward phase, remember? Then as always... a small drop falls... but hey, it's just a drop. However, reactions vary from being drowned in a drizzle to being struck by lightening.

It's time for the Post-incident-analysis now. Remember, you are supposed to ask every possible question you can (related to the incident though).

Unfortunately this time, most answers are quite good. They seem to be genuine. No open ends anywhere. Well, not 100% fool-proof, but these answers give you more reasons to be optimistic than pessimistic.

And then it strikes you hard. Real hard, mind you. And the thought of what you are going to think pains you. A wry smile is all you can manage.

Even though, you are sad of having made a mistake after quite some time (poor ego, by the way), you still manage to smile at the end because you found a person worthy of a good relationship.

You desperately hope to patch things up while a new thought occurs to you. "What if they mistake me now and get funny thoughts in their head". The answer follows. "Yes, I made a mistake. But if they ask, I am ready to explain". Before that, you take the first step in patching.

All's well that ends well. Some rules become relaxed. But again, not too easy though. We don't want ! striking again.

One size does not fit all. And that keeps you guessing. So, which one actually suits you?

Previous experiences help you narrow down to a small number. From then on, try each one... simple (not really).

[Dedicated to a friend whom I mistook for a few small reasons (It didn't seem too small in my opinion then though). I thought I had a fine series of reasons. But truth beat fiction out. Sorry dear, but don't we all make mistakes... isn't that how we learn? Happy that we grew stronger through it. Like you a lot. Maybe, that's why.]

==Ends here as of now==

One size fits all? - Part !

Remember your early relationships? Must have been somewhere in your early teens depending on where you were from and related situations.

Anyway, at first the whole idea of talking/walking around with a member of the opposite gender is so good. You spend a lot of time and effort to make it last a lifetime.

Step-1: Details - Yup... you are willing to let them know any detail that they want to know about you. Your whole life is an open encyclopedia so that you can earn the title of honest, open-nature etc. And you too expect them to tell everything about themselves. Once that starts... great...

Step-2: You are free anytime - That itself explains a lot... you have all the time in the world to stay on the phone. Or chat, mail for that matter. Everything else goes to utterly low, ultra-low priority.

Step-3: Dream - Since it is a dream, why not dream big. Set up a chart for 50 years and plot the graphs of how close you would be at each stage.

Step-4: Problem-solving - Forget Maths for a second... maybe more than that. They face a crisis and you want to somehow end up as a savior. Let it be anything that makes them happy temporarily... you score a few points and you are into the next round.

Step-5: Concern - How will they reach home? Do they really have a bad cold, fever, pneumonia? [Thoughts that come to you after a sneeze from them...]. Suddenly, what happens to you does not matter much. Well actually, they are supposed to care about that...

Step-6: Help - Maybe the biggest of all... how willing you are to help them. Well, problem-solving also comes under this. Step-2 also comes under this. The possibilities in which you can help are amazingly large. All questions with 'Can you' and 'I need' are replied with 'What else am I there for...?'

Though it all sounds too one-sided... this happens both ways... and so makes the duo so happy. Don't tell anyone's are shared... treats are sponsored... special gifts are sent/received... those special walks... and do the hours on the phone in serious discussion and thousands of lines of mail need special mention...?

Then one day... it strikes... the upward growth of the graph has hit an unexpected top... Oh no wait... it has slipped down a bit... bringing your mood down with it... Oops... emergency... discussions are held... a phone feels like committing suicide... Mail servers are panicky over 10k lines of 'code'... Result... problem solved... They call it a misunderstanding and life is back to normal.

Upward movement again but a bit slow... You don't worry about it... But things now seem different... You have just gone through another two of those misunderstandings. You need to get something repaired now... Maybe the mails are too short? Or too pointless... Pump in some sentiment, sweet talk, some we were meant to be's... and smile as the graph is upward again with a new 'energy'

More Don't tell anyone's flow in... You've reached somewhere near the top spot in their ranking. And now this is crucial. You are now competing with the big guys. You should not just keep doing the things you do. You need to be different. And you come up with methods to stay on top.

Disasters strike periodically... but you know it is all related to the difficulty of being at the top... Wait a sec... I haven't referred to the graph for quite sometime now... Oops, it is nowhere near its peak... What happened to the topper's list...? I have to ask about that...

Bam bam bam... shouldn't have asked those questions... Graph catapulting but with a new sense of direction... Bad questions... unexpected replies... even worse comments to those replies...

So now what do we do...? The graphs show something like a Bell curve. Time for some analysis?

They call it going back to the drawing board. You put on your thinking caps... Where did it go wrong? Obviously, the point at which the graph turned. Cause - one of those misunderstandings which became a little big...

But, hey... these little disturbances did come before right? A new conclusion - Irrespective of how well a misunderstanding has been understood a part of it is carried off to the next one to increase its effect...

Hey... but the graph seemed to improve after the first of these incidents... Conclusion - A misunderstanding's remnants are carried over only when the next one is released.

Still... the second misunderstanding had been solved reasonably well by both concerned. What made it go down like that? Think well... Did you not feel something went sour in the whole thing? Argument - But it was all complemented by more effort so the effect should have been neutralized... Question - Are you sure they too felt it the same way?

Hmmm... not sure... but sure felt it as the graph was nearing the end of its cycle. The spice or steam of whatever was there has seemed to have worn off... Hey, but doesn't anybody care about these happenings? Didn't they see someone pop off the topper's list?

Updates: Seems they have realized something is wrong. They were also not too happy with all these developments... And so they keep mum...

Now... Now... silence isn't so golden anymore. Need to do something about. Kick-start this whole thing again... Now you know your mistakes... You can make some resolutions like nip it in the bud etc... So all set to restart...

They have also expressed interest in this whole Renaissance idea... So can set forth after one final analytical session

What makes you sure this won't happen again? The graph should never have fallen this low in the first place... It was a fresh relationship and so both would have had the feeling not to let it go? Well... at least you did everything for it... Hmmm... were you the only one...? Could be... two together would never have let this happen...

The idle mind uses up all its resources. The whole graphs path has been covered like 20 times. You discover some possibilities that you need clarification on... But hey, the graph's status advises you not to bring these up and finally extinguish it into negative...

You keep it with yourself... and take THE decision... Yes... time to move on... If they don't care about it as much as you do... you take the pain... but make sure it doesn't stay painful for ever... Good for you...

They are obviously not impressed... Some positive steps are planned to be taken to uplift the graph. Things like these seem to soften you... But in the end, logic prevails...

Finally, you walk out... It is cold... You are waiting for the sunshine... Till then, you would have to taste the cold bite.

You should have thought twice at the first crisis-point. Do cross-examination at every point so that you don't catch the latest discoveries that you got when it is late. With these tips, you can sure do better...

Ya... there are all the same... Don't forget the rules. 'One size fits all'

[To be continued...]